This Is Definitely The Worst Sex Story You've Ever Heard

He told me he was adventurous, trust me I liked the sound of that. I started imagining how a guy who claims to be “freaky freaky” will act in bed. I’ve never slept with a freak, because  I am a freak myself, that combo is very risky. 

The D-day came, I was excited, ready for smack down. Mind you, prior to that day, Oga had promised to destroy my liver and kidney and trust me I was ready to die for the D*ck. 

I got there and saw BDSM tools. I was amazed, “Wa fe ku laleyi” came to my head. The first tool I saw was koboko, I jokingly asked him, you didn’t tell me you’re a soldier na. He laughed and told me to get on my knees. 

I laughed  just like that, punishment immediately? No kissing? No lobbing lobbing? 

Then I remembered he said he was a freak, okay o. “Since I’m a freak let me kuku learn new style”. After kneeling, he got handcuffs and cuffed me. Mad o! I said to myself, this is gonna be interesting. 

Baba got his clothes off, I was amazed by the monster between his legs. I told myself, Crystal you’re gonna die today.  Your intestine will shift today, something must kill a woman afterall. 

I was kneeling down now and my knees started to ache. Baba brought out Nutella, rubbed it on his gbola of Africa, I licked everything off. Trust me I enjoyed it. He laughed and told me I’ve not seen anything yet... Bitch! He screamed, I turned around, looking for who he was calling. 

He laughed, came closer and put a feather in my mouth. “Baby please tickle my ass hole”, he said. I was confused. Abeg which kind ass hole be that? On God I though this mofo was joking until he turned around and gave his butt a high rise. 

Ha! this is not the freaky freaky I signed up for, then I remembered what I told myself, Crystal you are here to learn. 

I started the process, using my mouth to hold the feathers, and tickling his butt hole. Baba started moaning, started enjoying himself. 

Trust me I closed my eyes because he was so hairy and I was looking at a mans ass hole and cracks. 

Guys!!!! I died o, I died when I felt a watery substance drop on my face. This basterd purged on me, watery poo! I tried not to open my eyes or mouth. I wanted to scream, I had to keep calm for a second. Before Mr man found the key to the cuffs, God knows I almost died. He found it, I cleaned up and finally, I screamed and cried till my lungs fell out. I packed my things, and never saw him again. I blocked him and never said a word till now. Nigerians I met him on twitter, the mofo still tweets till now!